Eddie replies...

Thank you everyone for your support! Letters from all over the world have reached me, as you can see below. I drool at the very thought of all the potato chips that have been promised me. If only I can be found.

MommaDad, I appreciate these words you transcribed from the Codex. But ... now, I know that the Codex never fails to come true. But how could there be a soul for such a dogpeople-body-wearing demon as the Tyrant-Kidnapper? I know you will understand if I continue to work on other paths to escape (for as the Codex says, prophecy helps those dogs who help themselves to another helping). But you are certainly correct, that something is planned around the Feast of St. Vigeous. I hear them speaking of this upcoming Feast, and they look at me and smile and whisper among themselves.

I have identified a clue.

As you know, for many months I have wondered where the water for this parched land was taken. I have found it. They have stolen all the water from from all the lands of the HellMouth, and placed it in a Giant Water Bowl. This Bowl is larger than a dogpeople. Indeed, it is so large that several dogpeople can stand in the Bowl at the same time.

I learned of this marvel, alas, because of the fiendish purpose to which it is put. I have now been subjected to the Water Bowl Torture: the captive is placed in the middle of the bowl and expected to swim desperately to the edge. I have survived, but only barely.

But I shall pass lightly over my trials today. The important thing about the Giant Water Bowl is that it is Giant, and surely unique. I cannot help but believe that this is an edifice of such grandeur that it will be easy to spot on Google Maps!

But I must not get my hopes up because ... alas ... there is no reason to believe that Google has Maps of the HellMouth.

Meanwhile, in my ceaseless quest for clues and escape, I have come upon an archive, with the original words to a song for which a corrupted version became well-known in the days of our ancestors. The original words are these:

Hello Mudda,
Hello Fadda,
Here I am at
Mundito Stiegler.
The Mundito's very frightening
Though I think we'll have some fun
If the sun stops baking...

Take me home,
Oh Mudda, Fadda.
Take me home,
I hate the Mundito.
Don't leave me
Out in the HellMouth
I might
Be eaten by a 'Were.

Take me home
I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with all my toys.
Oh please don't let me fear
I've been here
One whole year.

-- Eddie

(back to Eddie and the Cruiser)